#106: am I ready?

I met my neighbor recently and in the two times that I've run into him recently neither time did I mention that I was gay and living with my bf.

This is weird not because I feel the need to announce this to everyone I meet but because during our conversation there were topics that would lead to a natural mention of a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and I was silent in a way that a straight person probably wouldn't have been.

Him: "Do you share your apartment?"
Me: "Yes I do."

That should have been "Yes I do with my boyfriend."

Another example -

Me: "If you need any tips on where to take your family in NYC let me know."

In my head I really said: "My boyfriend's parents were just here visiting so if you need any tips on where to take your family, let me know."

I find it odd that I've gotten pretty comfortable walking down the street holding my bf's hand but yet so hard to say those words.

It makes me concerned as I'm planning on coming out to my mom later this year when I go home and I've only got one shot at this as the next time I see her after that will most likely be when she comes to visit me at the apartment that I'm currently sharing with the bf she has no idea about.

Guess it's time to get ready for that.

Anyways my neighbor seems like a nice guy so the next time I run into him I'll do what I should have done and nonchalantly mention the bf. Heck, maybe the next time I run into him My bf will be with me!

It's a pity I can't do the nonchalant thing with my mom.

#105: a week with the bf's parents

For the past week DT's parents have been staying with us. Given the size of our apartment (it's a 1 bedroom) things have been quite cozy. DT and I also gave up our bed(room) to make sure they were as comfortable as possible.

At first I was a bit nervous about having them around. I wondered if I would be able to be myself in my own home. The reason for this is I have a tendency sometimes (well many times) of coming home from work and spending an hour (or two) in front of my MacBook being antisocial. This doesn't really lend itself well to having guests.

Thankfully, I was worried for nothing with the only real downside (or upside) depending on who you ask was that I was forced to be a bit more social than normal.

They're leaving today and as I said goodbye, I felt like it was great to get to know his family a bit better. That being said, I'll be happy to have my bed back but they're nice people and I quite like them.

#104: be first

I was walking past a bus stop here in NYC when I came across an HSBC ad saying - "On average, Russian billionaires are 19 years younger than those in America."

My first instinct was to think, hmm maybe its time to move to Russia. 

For some reason over the next few days this ad stuck with me and I began thinking about it more. 

The more I thought about it the more I figured that the time to benefit the most from something is when no one else has discovered it. While there will obviously be other Russian billionaires, the first billionaire most likely benefitted the most or at least felt the most satisfaction from building what seemed improbable at the time.

This started me thinking, I don't want to follow anyone. I want to be the first. This applies not only with my career but with my personal life and anything else I touch. No matter how improbable it seems. 

This is probably going to sound a bit grand as an example but flying was impossible until someone did it. Someone said "Hey, I'm going to be first to fly!"

So I'm saying to myself, "Hey, I going to be first to [tbd]!"

Not sure how I turned an HSBC ad into that but there it is.....

#103: they're off!

13 months have come and gone. My braces are now officially off!!

But first, I know that I've been MIA for quite some time. In fact, I believe I went missing from the blogosphere around the same time that DT moved here back in February. To put it simply, I've been busy.

Busy spending as much time possible with him. Busy with work. Busy with school. I don't really have the kind of online presence I used to. I have to remind myself to sign into IM nowadays. Its funny that I finally found time to write again as he's about to go on a business trip for the next week....but I'll try to be a bit better about this but no promises.

Now back to my braces! They're off and I'm very happy with the result. I'm less happy about having to wear a retainer but it was worth it. I can eat corn on the cob again! Not to mention all those unhealthy stick sweet candies (highly not recommended).

I can meet business people and/or friends and no longer worry about a) how my teeth looked before braces or b) that they're looking at the mass of metal in my mouth. Woohoo!

Now I just need to find something else to nitpicking about. On to the next one right....I nominate the gym!

#102: he's here!

DT is here! He arrived this past Tuesday and it's been great having someone to snuggle up to at night and in front of the TV.

Speaking of which, we need to get a bigger couch since snuggling is a bit difficult on my lil 2 seater during all important TV time. We're going to begin apartment hunting this weekend and it's looking to be quite a nice weekend weather wise as well. Spring is almost here!

As you can probably tell, I'm in a GREAT mood right now on this subway train that I'm riding on my way home as I write this.

Have a great weekend everyone!
-Jay.

#101: my interests

The first class in schools are typically branded 101 so I figured I'd use post 101 to talk a little bit more about my interests than I did in post #1.

A quick primer on me: I'm a gay guy in my mid 20s.

How old exactly? 25.
How gay? Just ask my boyfriend. :)

My interests are probably not that different from most young professionals. Especially here in NYC, the financial capital of the world.

In addition to the typical going out and socializing, working out to stay fit and other entertainment, I am a devoted gadget freak (and in fact wrote my first iPhone HelloWorld app this past week).

I'm also intrigued by the world of finance. I guess that means it's a good thing that my current job allows me to dive into both worlds.

I want to begin focusing a bit more on these 2 areas on this blog. I'm not trying to turn this into yet another tech or finance blog but I'm pretty passionate about both these areas and I believe that by including them I'll be more inclined to write a bit more and get back into the blog habit.

I'll even add a gay twist to these things if appropriate.

Writing about what I love should always be a part of my agenda....

#100: big step

People ask me how I feel about the fact that I'm moving in with my boyfriend of just over 1 year (since we met) or just over 6 months (since we made it official official).

I know that they'll be some bumps along the way as we get used to having each other around 24/7 especially given that we've spent most of our relationship on opposite ends of the Atlantic. I'm confident however, that those bumps are not insurmountable.

While having someone "invade" your space can be a shock to the system, not having them around to fall asleep next to every night is a shock to MY system dammit! I want him here.

• Here to hold.
• Here to cook for/with.
• Here to watch TV with at night.
• Here to nerd out with about technology.
• Here to discuss finance.
• Here to do chores [notice the lack of 'with']
• Here to do random things with absolutely no planning at all (long distance tends to necessitate planning).
• Here to cuddle with.
• Here to [......]
• Here to come home to.
• Here to love.
• Here to give me advice and share my thoughts with
• Here to figure out my path (or agenda?) with

The fact that he has his own little (or maybe big) quirks to get used to kind of pales in comparison really. I know I certainly come with my own little (or maybe big) quirks as well. Everyone does. There will no doubt be times when we both want our space and we will both need to be cognizant of that fact and act accordingly. Open discussion will no doubt be key.

I just cannot imagine him moving here from London and getting his own place. It just seems illogical and inconceivable to me as I know that we'd end up spending so much time together anyways. Not to mention the constant packing overnight clothes and jumping around from his place to my place and vice versa. I want him to be part of my everyday life in a completely seamless manner.

Could it be a mistake? Sure. Every single decision we make every day in life could turn out to be a mistake. From what we get for lunch to where to invest our money. But without risk there is no reward.

So get your butt over here already DT! I want my reward!

Oh and this is my 100th post! w00t!

#99: the American dream

I've been living here in the USA for almost five years. I received my Masters degree from one of the top schools in this country in 2007 and have been working here in the close to 3 years since then.

It may sound cliched but what prompted me to leave home was the concept of the American dream. A world where I was free. Free to accomplish anything I wanted. I craved big city life. A chance to make my mark on a place larger than just an island the size of a few hundred miles.

Free to be gay and walk down the street holding hands with my boyfriend the way that those characters on Queer As Folk did on TV back when I was in college.

This is my dream accomplished. A great well paying job in a great city. The world at my fingertips. There are few places in the world like New York. I made it here so hopefully this means I can make it anywhere.

But the dream is currently only temporary. I'm but just a visitor craving when I can call this place my permanent home without any qualifiers or expiry date. All in time.

#98: looking back on 2009

The end of a year is typically greeted by everyone with reflection. Numerous things happenned of note to me during 2009, some that may seem small and insignificant to many but somewhat key to me.

In January 2009 I met my boyfriend in London and then left him when I moved back to NYC at the end of February. A budding relationship cut short after only 8 short weeks.

In March I finally bought furniture of my own including a quite soft bed and even cookware! Owning furniture actually gave me a sense of permanency in terms of where I'll be as I had been moving around quite a bit. Now that I owned stuff, it gave me greater sense of home.

In April I got braces. A decision I don't regret as I look at how far they've come in the past 8 months.

In June I celebrated gay pride in both Pittsburgh and then NYC. My second year in doing so. I also gave in to temptation and finally bought an iPhone after 2 years of lusting after the devices. I also met fellow blogger and good friend Tim in person at last.

In July that boyfriend that I left in London came to visit me and we rekindled what has since then been an amazing relationship even though we still cuurently live on opposite ends of the Atlantic.

In August I celebrated a quarter century of life and was at home in the Caribbean for my birthday for the first time since 2004. I also watched my older sister get married, thereby placing my family's eyes on me being next...

In October I visited my bf and sister in London and met a member of his family for the first time. His sister. I also learned that it was very possible that he could be granted a work transfer enabling him to move to New York City. WooHoo!

In December I took the longest consecutive vacation I have since graduating from grad school in May 2007. 2.5 weeks. Right before my holiday the news I was waiting on came through. My bf would definitely be moving to NYC!! Something that seemed unlikely 6 months ago was now happening and faster than we'd thought possible. Not only that but we decided to move in together!

I spent part of my time on holiday once again in London but this time expanded by going to northern England and meeting my bf's mom and more of his family for the first time. I was actually impressed as my perception of the UK was that there wasn't much going on outside of London. You frequently hear of major US cities besides New York but rarely do you hear of other UK cities apart from London.

I ended 2009 in Paris gazing over a river at the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend as a dazzling light show engulfed the tower.

For many, 2009 was a bad year but for me I have some incredibly fond memories. Hopefully there is more of this in store in 2010.

#97: top 20 songs obsessions of 2009

Here are my Top 20 most played songs in 2009 according to iTunes.

1. Kanye West: Heartless (261 times)
2. PussyCat Dolls: Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny) (260 times)
3. Lady Gaga: Lovegame (246 times)
4. Black Eyed Peas: Boom Boom Pow (228 times)
5. T.I. feat. Rihanna: Live Your Life (218 times)
6. Chelley: Took The Night (217 times)
7. David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland: When Love Takes Over (216 times)
8. David Guetta feat. Akon: Sexy Bitch (203 times)
9. Britney Spears: If You Seek Amy TIED WITH Major Lazer feat. Nina Sky: Keep It Goin' Louder (185 times)
10. Black Eyed Peas: Imma Be (179 times)
11. Thunderheist: Jerk It (174 times)
12. Scotty Dynamo: Make It Right (167 times)
13. Sugababes: Get Sexy (164 times)
14. PussyCat Dolls: Bottle Pop (162 times)
15. Freemasons feat. Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Heartbreak Made Me A Dancer (154 times)
16. Black Eyed Peas: Party All The Time TIED WITH Mr Hudson feat. Kanye West: Supernova (152 times)
17. Britney Spears: Circus (149 times)
18. Cobra Starship feat. Leighton Meester: Good Girls Go Bad TIED WITH David Guetta feat. Ne-Yo: Choose (148 times)
19. Jordin Sparks: Battlefield (139 times)
20. Britney Spears: Mannequin (137 times)

So yeah, there it is. My trend of killing songs over and over again clearly continues. Of course, my iPhone and iPod plays clearly factor into these counts and not just iTunes at home.

List Compiled: January 13, 2010.