How awesome is it to be a gay man (or woman) right now in the northeast?
Massachusetts was the first state in the country to pass gay marriage. Next came the states of Connecticut and Vermont, while New Jersey is civil unions only.
Now New York, Maine, New Hampshire and Rhode Island are weighing in on the issue. This part of the country is quickly becoming the focal point of the gay marriage debate.
I'm not going to get into the whole gay marriage versus civil unions thing right now because that probably deserves a rant of its own but I believe in full equality and that means marriage. Separate but equal isn't REALLY equal.
I must admit that I am somewhat surprised by the fact that so many of these states have legalized it before New York state. I do however have to remember that while I live in New York City, that New York State is made up of much more than just this one massive city with over 8 million people.
Right now New Yorkers can get married in another state and have it recognized here but hopefully that's just the first step of many. The support of the governor and mayor of NYC certainly can't hurt our chances.
So how awesome is it to be gay in the northeast? Very!!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
#73: debt is here to stay
A lot of my friends have been coming to me recently for financial advice. A few years ago I started doing a lot of research on financial stuff and it's helped me to really improve my own situation and I guess they see as as some kind of financialpedia. (OK, that was lame).
I know in detail how credit scores work (and I check mine every 3 months), I know the basics of investing and even where the best interest rate on savings are. I take a vested interest in being as financial secure as possible.
Anyone who knows me also knows that I hate to owe anyone anything. Whether it be a friend who lent me some cash because I wasn't near an ATM or a "not so friendly" financial institution.
Granted at 24, I think I'm pretty good in the debt department. I have no credit card debt, only student loans. That hasn't stopped me from trying to getting rid of it as soon as possible though. I want to be debt free!
It then dawned on me that I'll forever be in debt regardless of how often I try to rid myself of it entirely; not because of a massive loan balance but because that's how we live. As soon as one debt is paid off, up comes another.
When I'm done with my student loan I may look to own a home. Obviously I'm not rich so I won't be able to buy the thing in cash, which means I'll have a mortgage for 15-30 years.
If I decide to start my own business in the distant future then I'll have small business debt. The simple fact is that debt isn't going anywhere.
Granted, there are some kinds of debt worth having, those being the main two that I have mentioned. Student loan debt is good because education enhances your earning potential and mortgage debt is good because you gain equity which is an asset.
Other things like credit card debt is bad because most of the things people buy with it aren't worth it. Clothing or electronics don't increase in value to balance out the interest and fees people pay when carrying a balance over an extended period of time.
Regardless, for most of our lives, many of us will owe someone or some institution SOMETHING. We just need to make sure we get something in return that's worth the hassle.
I know in detail how credit scores work (and I check mine every 3 months), I know the basics of investing and even where the best interest rate on savings are. I take a vested interest in being as financial secure as possible.
Anyone who knows me also knows that I hate to owe anyone anything. Whether it be a friend who lent me some cash because I wasn't near an ATM or a "not so friendly" financial institution.
Granted at 24, I think I'm pretty good in the debt department. I have no credit card debt, only student loans. That hasn't stopped me from trying to getting rid of it as soon as possible though. I want to be debt free!
It then dawned on me that I'll forever be in debt regardless of how often I try to rid myself of it entirely; not because of a massive loan balance but because that's how we live. As soon as one debt is paid off, up comes another.
When I'm done with my student loan I may look to own a home. Obviously I'm not rich so I won't be able to buy the thing in cash, which means I'll have a mortgage for 15-30 years.
If I decide to start my own business in the distant future then I'll have small business debt. The simple fact is that debt isn't going anywhere.
Granted, there are some kinds of debt worth having, those being the main two that I have mentioned. Student loan debt is good because education enhances your earning potential and mortgage debt is good because you gain equity which is an asset.
Other things like credit card debt is bad because most of the things people buy with it aren't worth it. Clothing or electronics don't increase in value to balance out the interest and fees people pay when carrying a balance over an extended period of time.
Regardless, for most of our lives, many of us will owe someone or some institution SOMETHING. We just need to make sure we get something in return that's worth the hassle.
Monday, April 27, 2009
#72: so lazy
I've been feeling mighty lazy of late. I hadn't been to the gym in almost 2 weeks before this past Friday. Excuses abound: my sister was here, I'm tired, I'll go in the morning (yeah right..I tried that one quite a few times last week).
It's one of those things that if it's too difficult to do (too far away, etc) , you won't do it but if it's too easy you won't do it either. For instance, a home gym would never work for me as I know that I'll just keep pushing it off until later. My gym is across the street which isn't much better.
While I seem to constantly lack the motivation to go to the gym, the second I walk in, I settle right into my routine as if I hadn't had to drag myself through those doors.
I've been good the past few days though, not only did I go but I also increased the weight on every exercise I did.
If I can do that after not working out for almost 2 weeks maybe I've been too easy on myself even when I was working out before. As i type this right now, multiple parts of me are sore. My chest, abs, obliques and legs being the most of the bunch.
One other thing about going to the gym is that seeing other people working out can be a great motivator. It gives you something to aspire to, you know?
It's one of those things that if it's too difficult to do (too far away, etc) , you won't do it but if it's too easy you won't do it either. For instance, a home gym would never work for me as I know that I'll just keep pushing it off until later. My gym is across the street which isn't much better.
While I seem to constantly lack the motivation to go to the gym, the second I walk in, I settle right into my routine as if I hadn't had to drag myself through those doors.
I've been good the past few days though, not only did I go but I also increased the weight on every exercise I did.
If I can do that after not working out for almost 2 weeks maybe I've been too easy on myself even when I was working out before. As i type this right now, multiple parts of me are sore. My chest, abs, obliques and legs being the most of the bunch.
One other thing about going to the gym is that seeing other people working out can be a great motivator. It gives you something to aspire to, you know?
Friday, April 24, 2009
#71: dream
I've been meaning to write this post for some time but I kept putting it off as I felt it was something sure to ruin my typically happy mood. But right now, surrounded by tons of people at work it's much easier to discuss than it would be at home alone with my thoughts.
A few months ago (I think it was in London but not 100% sure) I had the strangest dream.
It began with my aunt and I returning to a hotel room to pack for our return trip home. We had been on vacation, or so it seemed and we had had quite a bit of fun.We were both all smiles and laughing.
I pulled open the closet to begin packing our stuff when suddenly the feeling that my aunt didn't want to leave dawned on me. She was happy here and I felt that.
As I asked her if she was happy and if she wanted to stay and she said yes, I hugged her and I started to cry.
At this point I woke up and began thinking about my dream.
My aunt died back in October of 2008 and part of me wondered if this dream was her way of saying she was happy or maybe it was my mind's way of dealing with it.
I'd much rather believe it's the former and even if it is, it makes me happy to think she's okay but it still makes me sad regardless because sometimes I just want to talk to her, laugh with her, watch TV with her or just hug her and I can't.
A few months ago (I think it was in London but not 100% sure) I had the strangest dream.
It began with my aunt and I returning to a hotel room to pack for our return trip home. We had been on vacation, or so it seemed and we had had quite a bit of fun.We were both all smiles and laughing.
I pulled open the closet to begin packing our stuff when suddenly the feeling that my aunt didn't want to leave dawned on me. She was happy here and I felt that.
As I asked her if she was happy and if she wanted to stay and she said yes, I hugged her and I started to cry.
At this point I woke up and began thinking about my dream.
My aunt died back in October of 2008 and part of me wondered if this dream was her way of saying she was happy or maybe it was my mind's way of dealing with it.
I'd much rather believe it's the former and even if it is, it makes me happy to think she's okay but it still makes me sad regardless because sometimes I just want to talk to her, laugh with her, watch TV with her or just hug her and I can't.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
#70: metal mouth
I finally took the plunge and my mouth is now full of metal. That's right, at 24 years old I got braces put on this past Monday and wow, the past 3 days have really sucked.
Today was the first day I ate anything more substantial than soup. I really cannot wait for this initial pain to pass so I can get back to eating like normal.
Well, as normal as can be without eating nuts, pretzels, sticky food, ice, gummy stuff (M&S Percy Pigs and sour glow worms are 2 faves of mine). At least I can still eat popcorn.
That being said, I must admit that visually they haven't really impacted the way I look. Even when I smile. They're less obvious to the glance than I'd have thought.
One of my friends even went as far as to say that he really likes them on me and that it gives me a slightly nerdy adorable look.
This led me to think, braces as fashion accessories? Maybe! LOL>
Regardless, I'm already looking forward to the day I take these suckers off. T-minus 12 months.
I know many of my family and friends didn't really see them as necessary given that I have a great smile but I have a gap that always bothered me. I figure the boost to my self confidence from not thinking about it anymore is more than worth it.
I'm pretty late to the game at 24 but hey, great teeth at 25 is better than never at all. It's never too late to invest in yourself.
Today was the first day I ate anything more substantial than soup. I really cannot wait for this initial pain to pass so I can get back to eating like normal.
Well, as normal as can be without eating nuts, pretzels, sticky food, ice, gummy stuff (M&S Percy Pigs and sour glow worms are 2 faves of mine). At least I can still eat popcorn.
That being said, I must admit that visually they haven't really impacted the way I look. Even when I smile. They're less obvious to the glance than I'd have thought.
One of my friends even went as far as to say that he really likes them on me and that it gives me a slightly nerdy adorable look.
This led me to think, braces as fashion accessories? Maybe! LOL>
Regardless, I'm already looking forward to the day I take these suckers off. T-minus 12 months.
I know many of my family and friends didn't really see them as necessary given that I have a great smile but I have a gap that always bothered me. I figure the boost to my self confidence from not thinking about it anymore is more than worth it.
I'm pretty late to the game at 24 but hey, great teeth at 25 is better than never at all. It's never too late to invest in yourself.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
#69: viewpoints
Back home in the Caribbean, I based my assumptions of the world on what I saw and noticed on my small island. Apart from what I read online, saw on CNN or encountered during short trips I really had nothing else to base anything on.
I then moved to Pittsburgh and was given new perspective and experiences. An American view but with a small town twist: nice people, four seasons, snow, gay bars and freedom. My world was expanding.
The came New York City. Fast paced, exciting expensive and a true cultural icon. The city that never sleeps. I felt like I was at the center of it all.
Most recently I moved to London. A city very much like NYC but with one major difference. Whereas NYC is a global city with an American bias, London is a global city with a global focus.
When I think about how I used to view the world just 4 years ago compared to now, it's mind boggling. Everything from the basic stuff like the types of food I like to eat and how I dress to more important factors like my interests and ideas have all evolved and grown.
Being able to look at things from these multiple perspectives is something I hope to leverage not only in my personal life but also in my professional one as well. Look out world!
I then moved to Pittsburgh and was given new perspective and experiences. An American view but with a small town twist: nice people, four seasons, snow, gay bars and freedom. My world was expanding.
The came New York City. Fast paced, exciting expensive and a true cultural icon. The city that never sleeps. I felt like I was at the center of it all.
Most recently I moved to London. A city very much like NYC but with one major difference. Whereas NYC is a global city with an American bias, London is a global city with a global focus.
When I think about how I used to view the world just 4 years ago compared to now, it's mind boggling. Everything from the basic stuff like the types of food I like to eat and how I dress to more important factors like my interests and ideas have all evolved and grown.
Being able to look at things from these multiple perspectives is something I hope to leverage not only in my personal life but also in my professional one as well. Look out world!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
#68: i expect too much
I always seem to expect too much from people. I seem to think that if I'm willing to do something why shouldn't they?
The main problem is based on my assumption that people value me as much as I value them. I'm the type of person that would do almost anything for the people I care about.
If I tell someone I'm going to be somewhere, I'll be there. I may (OK...most likely WILL) be 30 minutes late but I am guaranteed to show up EVERY single time.
Everyone isn't like me though are they....I guess the challenge is to find the people who are.
- If I'm willing to set aside time in my day to talk to someone, why shouldn't they do the same?
- If I'm willing to reorganize or change plans because I felt it was important enough, why can't they?
Not only is it inconsiderate but it also shows where I stand. Actions speak alot louder than words.
The main problem is based on my assumption that people value me as much as I value them. I'm the type of person that would do almost anything for the people I care about.
If I tell someone I'm going to be somewhere, I'll be there. I may (OK...most likely WILL) be 30 minutes late but I am guaranteed to show up EVERY single time.
Everyone isn't like me though are they....I guess the challenge is to find the people who are.
Friday, April 10, 2009
#67: anonymity
Anonymity is a funny thing. I primary reason I started this new blog is because I wanted something that if ever discovered by my family or an employer would cause me the least stress. Granted, there'd still be issues most likely but the impact would be muted.
I've largely stuck to that and while there's nothing wrong with that, my blog feels like its been neutered. Certain topics like sex are rarely (if ever discussed). My entries tend to be much less detailed and due to a previous fallout situation I almost never mention any discussion points between myself and others anymore.
The whole point of an anonymous blog is that it's supposed to be a place to rant without worrying about the repercussions. To vent your feelings and maybe get feedback on them from someone completely independent and impartial.
On a grander scale, is there even any real anonymity anymore? With sites such as Facebook and MySpace where we post pictures and write on other's walls for the world to see?
Companies with whom we do business have a wealth of information about us. Our bank for example can trace our location back for years based on credit and debit card transactions. They know that at midnight last night I was at Union Square because I withdrew cash at an ATM there. They know that where I ate lunch at 1pm and the Starbucks that I had coffee at 5:30pm as well.
This is all accepted without a second thought. It's a tradeoff we take for convenience. I do it and so do you.
With regards to this blog, does it make sense to even have it as an "anonymous" blog if I write it under the frame of mind that it could be discovered at any time and every word is carefully crafted to cause the least amount of fallout if that does indeed happen?
It's a balancing act. Things always seem to come back to haunt you when you least expect it. Instead of a ranting place, it makes my blog seem more like a collection of press releases. You know, telling the story but keeping all the "other" stuff deeply hidden or barely mentioned.
The devil's in the details and I want my ranting place back!
I've largely stuck to that and while there's nothing wrong with that, my blog feels like its been neutered. Certain topics like sex are rarely (if ever discussed). My entries tend to be much less detailed and due to a previous fallout situation I almost never mention any discussion points between myself and others anymore.
The whole point of an anonymous blog is that it's supposed to be a place to rant without worrying about the repercussions. To vent your feelings and maybe get feedback on them from someone completely independent and impartial.
On a grander scale, is there even any real anonymity anymore? With sites such as Facebook and MySpace where we post pictures and write on other's walls for the world to see?
Companies with whom we do business have a wealth of information about us. Our bank for example can trace our location back for years based on credit and debit card transactions. They know that at midnight last night I was at Union Square because I withdrew cash at an ATM there. They know that where I ate lunch at 1pm and the Starbucks that I had coffee at 5:30pm as well.
This is all accepted without a second thought. It's a tradeoff we take for convenience. I do it and so do you.
With regards to this blog, does it make sense to even have it as an "anonymous" blog if I write it under the frame of mind that it could be discovered at any time and every word is carefully crafted to cause the least amount of fallout if that does indeed happen?
It's a balancing act. Things always seem to come back to haunt you when you least expect it. Instead of a ranting place, it makes my blog seem more like a collection of press releases. You know, telling the story but keeping all the "other" stuff deeply hidden or barely mentioned.
The devil's in the details and I want my ranting place back!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
#66: randomness
Am I the only one that sweats in the shower? I normally think of a shower way to get rid of sweat after a workout or on a really hot summer day. I LOVE hot showers and I'll spend forever adjusting the water temperature just to get it right but sweating? Really?
Do I need cable? Heck, do I need a TV? I had cable installed a few weeks ago and I'm really questioning whether it's worth it. Even after the cable was installed, my new TV remained in its box for like a week.
Being completely honest, the only reason I got it in the first place was because I knew whenever people came over it'd be weird not having one but now it's just distracting me from the things I wanted to focus on this year.
Things like my career, learning new things and getting out and exploring this city (weekend cable TV marathons can be addictive).
I feel like my brain is slowly turning to mush. There's a recipe for success if there ever was one.
Maybe I should just pull the plug or maybe I should just exhibit more self control and pick up one of the multiple books on my coffee table instead of the remote control. It's just that the remote is always so much closer...
Do I need cable? Heck, do I need a TV? I had cable installed a few weeks ago and I'm really questioning whether it's worth it. Even after the cable was installed, my new TV remained in its box for like a week.
Being completely honest, the only reason I got it in the first place was because I knew whenever people came over it'd be weird not having one but now it's just distracting me from the things I wanted to focus on this year.
Things like my career, learning new things and getting out and exploring this city (weekend cable TV marathons can be addictive).
I feel like my brain is slowly turning to mush. There's a recipe for success if there ever was one.
Maybe I should just pull the plug or maybe I should just exhibit more self control and pick up one of the multiple books on my coffee table instead of the remote control. It's just that the remote is always so much closer...
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