#76: what happened?

• What happened to the guy who would come home from work every day, change and head right back out and explore the world around him?
• What happened to the person who would go out and enjoy himself anyways if all of his friends were busy and he had to go it alone?
• What happened to the dude who would never be comfortable just watching TV on his couch and then heading to bed all week?
• What happened to the human who didn't have to hit snooze on his alarm clock 5 times a morning before getting out of bed?
• Or who knew that staying up late on a work night for absolutely no reason would inevitably lead to this?
• What about the gym rat who loved to go to the gym at least 3 times a week?
• What happened to the intellectual who used to finish reading books in a day or two?
• What happened to the male who got excited by even the simplest of things like getting on a brand new computerized subway train, seeing his favorite song at #1 on the music charts or who couldn't stop smiling as the plane he was on took off?
• What happened to the individual so determined to get what/where he wanted in life that he always put his best foot forward?
• In short, what happened to me?

#75: addicted to sbux

When I started working in 2007 I consumed quite a bit of coffee. Notably Starbucks' specialties (i.e. sugar filled). On mornings I'd get myself a Grande Caramel Machiatto on my way into work to get me going and then after lunch I'd get a Grande White Mocha to keep me awake after the lunch time sleepiness kicked in.

I did this for quite awhile until I realized that I was spending like $8 a day in coffee. Is Starbucks worth $160 a month? I thought not so I went down to 1 serving a day. I then moved to New York City and $4 coffee became $5 coffee and I cut my consumption down even more.

On days like today however, I realize how addicted I STILL am to coffee and how much I REALLY don't need it to give me a supposed jolt.

Around 2pm, there was nothing I wanted to do more than go downstairs and get myself a Grande. White. Mocha. Stat! Withdrawal symptoms were kicking in. I was tired, lethergic and moody.

I IMed Billy who reminded me of what I already knew, that $5 coffee isn't worth it, so I resisted the urge and instead focused on looking at the clock on my computer hoping for the end of day to come so I could just head home and pass out on my bed. It's funny how that never quite happens though, because once I do get home I almost never go right to bed after my afternoon sleepiness.

And then suddenly, without me noticing, I got so caught up in doing my work that I didn't even remember my craving for coffee. I wasn't tired and I didn't need my caffeine fix anymore. My body was just being a petulant child trying to have its way but once it realized it wasn't going to happen it just fell right into line.

I'm sure it'll be back for round 2 again tomorrow though.